Brian Parsley

5 Simple Steps to Connect

July 1st, 2009

The other day I was on a flight from Las Vegas back home to Charlotte and I overheard two men talking. One of the men was a sales manager at a fitness equipment company, and the other had just been laid off from his job as sales rep. The sales rep mentioned that one of his close friends was the CEO of a property management company. He then said, “Listen, if you recommend me for a job at your company, I’ll introduce you to my friend.” From there, the conversation quickly dwindled.

The sales rep went wrong when he thought only about himself. He was concerned with his short-term situation instead of the help he could have offered and the long-term relationship he could have built with the sales manager. His real problem was that he didn’t understand what it means to be a connector.

Here are the 5 simple steps to connect:

1. Be Aware. When you’re having a conversation with someone, be in the moment. Instead of listening for cues on how they can help you, listen with the intent to help them.

2. Think. Who do you know? How can they help? How can they benefit? A great connection should be mutually beneficial to both the people you are connecting.

3. Recommend. If you think you can help both people, suggest the connection. But don’t make any promises.

4. Get the green light. Make sure that both parties are willing. Once you get approval from the person you’re talking to, you should always contact the other person who isn’t present and get their consent. Provide some background information on the other person and why you think they would benefit. You aren’t giving a recommendation; instead, you’re pointing them in the direction of a possible opportunity. Remember, honesty is the best policy.

5. Act. Being a connector isn’t just about suggesting a connection, it’s about following through. Once you get the green light, set a time for the two to meet. After the meeting is set, your part it done. It’s time to let the two parties talk and decide if they can both mutually benefit from the connection.

Think about the sales rep from my flight. The outcome would have been totally different if the sales rep would have followed these 5 steps. If he would have considered helping the sales manager without any selfish expectations, he could have easily gotten a great job recommendation.

The lesson is, think less about yourself and more about others. No one wants to be known as “that guy who always wants something.” Why not be “the guy who is always helping” instead?

I want to hear from you! How have you made a successful connection? Leave your story in the comments.

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5 Simple Steps to Connect

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